Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
