I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
