Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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