He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
