Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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