Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
