Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
