I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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