if only i could text you this smell
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
