WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
