its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
My pussy is not your playground.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Randomize
