how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
