So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
