his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
