Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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