The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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