It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
