I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
