I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
