Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
