Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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