I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
