You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
