at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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