not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
