Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
