have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
