Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
