His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
