It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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