I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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