yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
