eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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