you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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