He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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