who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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