i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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