Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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