Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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