Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
