i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
