Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Im just a social blackout drinker.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
