this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
God, I missed his penis.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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