We're facebook friends in real life
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
