I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
