i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
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