We named our party play list daddy issues
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
