Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
