so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
zippers are such a cool invention
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
My life is pants optional.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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