I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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