do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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